3/5/2010

(printable version)

Memories

One of my favorite childhood memories is sitting next to grandma as she played her piano and sang hymns. This was my mom's mom, and she had found Jesus and was very active in her church. She was a beautician with her own 'parlor' and I can still smell the chemicals for permanents and remember trying to help by sweeping the hair from the floor. I'm sure I wasn't much help. Grandma also had a jar of pennies in the back room, where she had a sink for those smelly perms. I used to sit under the dryers, which would warm us on cold days and she always let us get a handful of pennies from the jar. Of course after we got the pennies (when we were big enough) we would walk to a store to buy all the 'penny' candies we could get for our handful. I remember jawbreakers, gum, root beer barrels and pretzel rods. 

As I'd walk back, some of those pretzel rods became cigars. When I stayed the night at Grandma's apartment, she'd let me 'play' her piano. After she let me bang around a bit, she'd sit beside me and play. I can't recall if she was an accomplished musician or not, but I do remember sitting beside her, listening to her play and sing some of the most familiar old hymns. I know we'd sing Jesus Loves Me together. I never knew the woman my mom knew, as she grew up. Mom spent a lot of time in her sister’s care. I know she knew a hard life. The grandma I ‘knew’ was 'perfect' by the time I came along. Mom and grandma had a pretty good relationship then. 

I can never know what it would have been to grow up during economic times worse than these. I'll never know what it was like to grow up with an absent father. But I do know whatever relationship mom and her mom once had; it was a pretty good one by the time I came along. As I've said before, much of my childhood wasn't good. But, as I'm certain my mom did, I was able to accept the fact that I was raised in the best way my parents could, according to their abilities. I've forgiven my father for what hurt me so much. I can't say I was the best father either. I can only hope my son has been able to forgive me. Not so much for me, but for him. My healing and better life began when I forgave. I can now look back, remembering the good things. I remember trips to the fair, picnics, hunting wild game, fishing, mushroom hunting and the two things dad and I were able to do without arguing; working on electronic projects and cooking. Yes, there were things He and I couldn't do. But when I remember the good ones, I see how I learned to do many of the things I enjoy today. Gardening is one of them. Mom reminds me I hated the work. But I always found wonder in watching seeds come to life. Remembering the good things of the past helps us know life. Those memories should be our teacher. Let's give 'good' memories to all our children. 


Julie M's Grandmother passed away yesterday. She and her family are traveling for the funeral. Pray for this family. Test results are in for Larry M, who had surgery for cancer in a lung. Tests show he is 100% cancer free. Bill C (prostate cancer surgery) has also received a clean bill of health.

Father, the things I've done and the things I do will be remembered by someone. I know I've many things in my past to regret, when I've not been the example I should have been. I don't ask to be excused, but to find a way to do better. I know I must first forgive myself, for even the things I knew better than to do. Help me to help my child be and do better than I did, and let me know when to offer that help, and when I should not. I am a sinner, in need of grace. I ask forgiveness of my sins, as I forgive other sinners. I lift these loved ones, concerns and cares: Julie M's family, Larry M, Bill C, Kaitlyn and Chris, Rockwell Family, Pat D & family, Tom G, Chuck M, Ashley R, Randy S, Mike N, Wakins family, Keith R, Anne, Gary H, Rob P, Jim B, Mary (& Larry) C's Nephew, Jane C, Emily W, Jim V, Teresa, John B, Nikki L, Kairos #10, Barbara, Nikki L, John B, Vickie E, Ken S, Ladies of walk 58, Mr. & Mrs. Dewitt, Brandelyn N, Claudia T, Chrissie, Tim H -sons & families, Bill C, Jim B, Mike S' sister Tammy, Larry M, Cindy S' grandfather Gerald, John C, Jonah Joser, Michelle C, Ashlie B, Pat D, Roger D, Chris F, Maggie M, Victoria, Jen, Takin' The Streets Penny ministry, Gayla K, Doug & Joanne F, Bill H, Katie V, Trina, Rick B, Joe D, Scott K, Eric K, Megan D, Karen M, Jess P, Catie M, Tom McL, Shawn - Heidi & kids, Jason (in Texas), Becky M, Hunter H, Mable C, John D, Linda Z, John W, Tom C, Diane (Texas), Dave W, Denise, Sherry, Curt H, Roy & Becky M & their families, , Genie D, Barb W, Julie S & her family, Nancy F, Naomi's Heart Mission, Patty B, Tami - husband & family, Jan F, Jason & Kristie, Walter M, Evan W, Dave H, Lori D, Rick F, Sally W, Stacey S, Barron S, Jerry F, Brenda W, Diane F, Mary A, Susan & family, Suveld & family, Alexia, and Vladimer, Terri & Doug R, Eldon & Deloris R, Sondra F, Stacey F, Kevin, Scott K, Koster family, Betsye A, Judy R, Mike, Solly (for liver), Ronda & John P, Archie S, Roger D, M Roker, Michael V, Charlie M, Gerry, Patrice S, India U, Sharon N, Nathan R, John D, Dean S, Amber & family, Maria - her grandmother and son, Carol B, Lisa H, Aprilla, Jack, Tom & Marg, Tom C, Dustin, Glen, Barry, Dylan, Robin & husband, all trying to end addiction or habit, our families for salvation and guidance, those grieving, depressed, fighting / working for freedom and safety from terror, neglected / abused / missing children, God's servants and churches, those looking for work, in rehab programs, our families and all we hold dear in our hearts. I offer my prayer, worship and adoration....  amen. 

Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe. Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.  I Timothy 4:7-13  NIV




Steve  ___________________


© Steven Green 2010


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